Session 2:

Journal Homework for this week was to write to somebody about the events leading up to the death of our loved one. I thought that it was going to be easier than it was. I ended up waiting until the last minute to write.

Dear Katie, 

     In the week or two (I honestly don't remember) before my mom died, she went  from talking and laughing to having a catheter, because he no longer had the energy to walk to the bathroom herself.

     The Dr. Couldn't bring himself to read my mom's scan back to her, he later told my aunt and dad that it was the most tumors he's seen on one person's body in this career. The tumors weren't very small either. 

     When my mom came home from the Dr, she looked at me, telling me that the Dr. Basically told her that although she could do more treatment, the cancer was coming back faster than we could kill it off. Since my mom and I had already talked about it before, we both had already mentally prepared for the "there's nothing more we can do" phase.
     Hospice came in, turning the dining room into what resembled a makeshift hospital room. On the first day, the people from Heart 'n Home came over, and my mom was talking and coherent, but the next day she was on  a hospital-style bed. I could barely understand her. She was barely holding onto the little energy she had.
     Pastor Brad from Harvest Church started coming over to pray with us. Praying felt like the day's stress was temporarily lifted. I had no problem giving me problems, anger, and worry over to God, because I believe that he will forgive me for my having negative thoughts towards Him. God carried me through a year of being my mom's caregiver, he would be here for me now.
     The day my mom passed away was a sunny, calm day in January. The red curtains were open, and my mom was eager to pray with the pastor. JR was at Job Corp for about a week. Tanis and I went to La Grande with my grandma.
     She waited until her children weren't home to let go.